Honestly, I do not just run around looking for this stuff!!

Something Has Exploded in a Spectacular Fashion on Uranus. Heh.

Okay - this will keep me giggling all night.

PMS House 893

This getting old really sucks.  PMS is here almost as often as Nice Amy is lately.  Honestly, there should just be an off switch for when you know you're done with certain body parts. 

That said, I'm in a mood and you should all stay out of my way.  For example, the parents I sat next to at Andy's football game this evening. First, let's be clear, I despise adult women who try to carry themselves as children.  The woman in question  has long, long hair (actually, it's kind of beautiful) that she ties with a loose ribbon that matches her visor, her short shorts (sorry ladies, if you're past 40 and you're not Demi Moore, short-short shorts are not your friends) , matching cuffed ankle socks and even sneakers with matching stripes - she also affects a weird pigeon-toed thing when she walks, but I'm not willing to go into that.  Okay, that's enough reason to hate her and her pretty hair and her over-exposed cottage-cheese thighs.  BUT . . . I was sitting all of 18" away from her.  I said "Hi!" when I sat down.  I tried to be friendly, but she was having none of that - I'm thinking my super-short hair might have freaked her out????  I held in my "whatever feeling" at her absurd outfit. WHY could she not keep her own mouth shut????  

If Andy was 46 and a woman, he would look a LOT like me - we look that much alike (he's just way prettier).  STILL, I have to listen to her b*tch and moan about the coaching and how unfair it is that some kids are taller than others and that her son hasn't had a growth spurt yet.  (Have I mentioned that Mike is the coach????) I have to defend her husband here.  He kept trying to interject things like "Honey, life isn't fair." and "Kids grow when they grow ... it's not X's fault that he's not as big as some of these kids, but, then again, I'm not as big as some of these kids' dads!"  Nice, sensible guy.  She stopped talking to him altogether.  :::sigh:::

I bit my tongue. This is the 9-11 age group - HUGE stretch size-wise.  Guess what, lady, it gets worse in the 12-14 group!!!!!!    In this woman's mind, Andy is a giant.  Andy has not had a true "growth spurt."  He's just a big kid - doh!  Look at his dad or even me, I have the shoulders of a Division II linebacker.  Anyway . . . if you don't know who you're sitting amongst, shut your mouth.  If the coach is a volunteer - duct tape your mouth. If your kid is a spaz who cannot even catch a snap from the center - go home.

Honestly, this woman was so ugly and so critical of Mike and every single kid on the field but her own . . . I was grateful for half time and a chance to move without making a big deal of it.   Be nice to the volunteer parents in your lives.  Be really nice to them.  They try so hard.

And that's all for tonight.  Nice Amy should be back sometime soon.

Oops . . .

Forgot to blog these past few days.  Well, I didn't really forget, I just never got to it.  I could use another hour or two in everyday - I think I'd get a lot more done. 

We've had wonderful cool weather here since late last week.  THIS is the reason to live in Florida.  Shorts, barefeet and a sweatshirt in the evenings.  Ahhhh . . . The garden is enjoying the weather as well.  There are sprouts of every plant.  Very exciting stuff.  It's supposed to warm up again tomorrow - 85 I think.  We'll see how that goes.  Thus far, though, the fall/winter garden is looking promising.

Spent some time on Saturday in the thrift stores.  All of my winter clothes seem to be missing.  I'm thinking Dan is up in Tallahassee with some VERY short jeans.  Mine are all gone.  I found these awesome shoes - never worn -- for $3.99.  We're invited to a wedding in December and I think they'll be perfect.  Now to find something other than sweat pants to wear with them. 

I don't think I've mentioned Andy's science with Alton Brown lately.  We really enjoyed "FRYING" week.  We had a lunch of fish and chips, delicious, one afternoon.  A few days later we made pork chops (fried for only a minute on each side and then baked) with a crust of salt and vinegar potato chips.  Go ahead, drool.  They were the best pork chops I've ever had.  Andy is doing all of the cooking, so the credit goes to him.  For dessert, we brought on the deep fryer again and fried up some cookie dough.  Yum - but one little piece was more than enough for me.  I'll stick with fried Twinkies, thank you very much.

Last week, we sauteed.  Andy practiced sauteeing by flipping dried beans in the pan.  He graduated to tortellinis in butter, over actual heat.  The triumph of the week was his "Chicken with Garlic and Leeks."  My mom came by to eat with us and she loved it too.  And, we love her just a little bit more for bringing pineapple upside down cake for dessert.  This week, we're studying the art of boiling/poaching.  Not as much fun recipe-wise, but the science side is intriguing.  Friday, we're going to poach a chicken in wine and stock and eventually turn it into chicken/sausage gumbo.  I'm looking forward to Friday. 

This past weekend was wonderful weather-wise.  It's awesome to have the windows open again!  On Saturday morning, Mike and Andy were rough-housing and Mike smashed and broke his pinky toe.  Mike spent most of  the weekend in the recliner with ice off and on and a LOT of football and rugby.  I spent a LOT of time outside avoiding A LOT  football and rugby. I like both sport just fine, just not in 12-hour doses.  Mike's never broken a toe before.  Do women go barefoot more often? Most women I know have broken toes in the past.  I've done it several times.  Mike seems to think I'm making my suggestions of taping two toes together, keeping his foot elevated and using Tylenol or whatever as necessary out of the blue.  Oh well, I guess he'll figure it all out.  Right?????

Andy and I went out and picked up pumpkins tonight.  If you're near an Aldi's, all the pumpkins are $3.99.  They had some HUGE pumpkins at ours.  We're keeping them in the cool house, uncut until Sunday or Monday - pumpkins get moldy fast in Florida.   It felt weird to only buy three pumpkins this year.  We miss you Dan!!!

Back to the routine . . .

Long weekend here - Teacher Workday for our county.  Had a house full of boys all day long.  The weather is perfect - warm enough for shorts and bare feet, but cool enough to function.  I really do love the 9-12 year old boys.  They make up weird games and everyone is okay with rule changes every three minutes.  They talk intelligently about something one minute and the next they're howling over something disgusting. 

Saturday, after football practice, Mike wanted to do the biannual bug spray around the house.  This requires us leaving for at least four hours and then me scrubbing all the surfaces when it's all done.  It was time.  Dan isn't here.  Ian was camping. Tim was working.  Just me, Mike and Andy headed out into the big world to kill some time. 

Hmmm . . . we suck at killing time.  We're not shoppers.  We're broke.  That kind of limits the options.  We wandered around my favorite garden place for a while.  Then, it occurred to me that we had Andy trapped and it was a good time for force him to try on jeans.  He's grown so much the past few months.  We dragged him to Old Navy.  We left with shell-shock and two pairs of jeans (everyone pray he doesn't grow before it gets cold). 

What to do, what to do?  We still had to kill 2 hours.  We went to Michael's and I found some yarn and needles to change things up a little bit.  I still suck at knitting, but I like knitting, so I stick with the cheaper yarn.  Anyone need a scarf?  Next up?  A run to Dollar Tree (everything is a dollar!) for some cleaning supplies and plastic cups.  Finally, I sat in the car knitting while Andy and Mike visited nerd-central - the Hobby place - to look at rocket-making supplies.  Color us officially shopped out for the year!

Sunday was fun.  We got to stay home.  I put in my fall garden - FINALLY!!!!  I was about half-way through when Preston, the 6 year-old who lives across the street, came to help me.  Whew!  I was sore and tired and there are few things more enthusiastic than a 6-year-old with a hand rake and a packet of carrot seeds!  I got a break, he got dirty and had fun.  At the top is a "map" of the garden - yes, I am that bored. Plus, markers are fun.  Here is a picture of the dirt filled with hidden seeds. 

Sunday evening, it cooled off, the kids made fire kites and the grown ups talked about football, groceries and other exciting grown-up stuff.  It was a really nice way to end the day.  

Storms are moving in - let's hope the garden doesn't flood.  Tomorrow is supposed to be messy!!! 

Uranus is ALWAYS funny!

Not just Uranus, but yours and yours too.  I want to know who wrote this headline!  

Uranus takes a pounding more frequently than thought

 WOW - who'd of thunk?

New Territory

Mike turns 49 in December.  I think we may have crossed a threshold with mailing lists.  Well, not we (yet), but Mike has definitely crossed the line.  Consider the best piece of junk mail we received today:

Most of our junk mail these days comes from colleges.  I just opened it because  I was bored - I didn't really look at it.  "Plan  to Live" indeed.

That's right.  We're invited (along with two of our closest friends) to eat a free meal and plan Mike's funeral.  I know the economy is bad, but honestly? They're hitting on the soon-to-be-49 crowd?  This was a seriously expensive mass mailing.  The longer it sat on the kitchen counter, the funnier it seemed to me, Andy, Ian and Tim.  Poor, Mike.  By the time he came home we were just dying to see his reaction.


Being old, like Mike, he couldn't see what he was looking at initially without his glasses.  He asked just holding the envelope "Who's getting married?"  "Did someone have a baby?"  and then he put his glasses on.  His reaction was the same as mine when I first saw the thing.  Shock. Awe. Horror. And . . . then, because he's the man I love, he laughed and laughed and laughed.  Yes . . . we're going to die.  Yes . .  . we get few dinners out on our own.  Yes . . . better to eat Mac and Cheese at home than this.  

Free tickets if anyone can use them.  


I cannot even imagine what our future "old people" mail holds.  Rest assured, I'll let you know.  

Rainy Saturday

So much for gardening today - it has been pouring non-stop since late last night.  So, the fence is done and just waiting for the plants.  Tim took a picture for me yesterday - nice huh?

Nice, huh?  Our grumpy neighbor is most pleased.

Since I was stuck inside, I made garden markers out of some wooden spoons I picked up at the thrift store yesterday.  They need a couple coats of polyurethane and they should be good to do.  I hope the horse like them.

All's clear!!!

Andy had his eye doctor appointment.  After 9 days of what basically amounted to bed-rest, Andy is nearly free!  Eye drops, no contact sports, and no swimming until Wednesday, but beyond that no restrictions!  The doctor saw what he called "a little debris" but the clot was gone and no signs of further bleeding.  Woohoo!  Andy gets to go back to his bed (he's been on the couch b/c he couldn't climb the bunk bed OR wrestle for bed space on the bottom bunk with Cally).  He was able to run around outside and play with Paul this afternoon.  He's actually tired tonight.  Whew!!!!!!!  

I'm resisting the urge to make Andy wear safety goggles full-time.  I'm also resisting the urge to guilt you all into making your kids wear safety goggles.  Even the doctor thought I was nuts.  But . . . it's hard!  ;)

Stay-tuned this weekend - garden going in - ponies being evicted.  (My imaginary ponies, that is.)

It's not easy being weird

Andy has 2 1/2 days left of being still and quiet.  He's been incredibly great during all of this.  As a result, his eye is clear.  No change in the iris.  No blurry vision.  No nothing.  We're doing school-lite this week.  And, as much as I love and adore Andy, I will be happy to let him loose on the world Thursday afternoon.  

Who knew he was such a talker?  Who knew he was so susceptible to television.  He's been watching lots of Monk on Netflix.  I was fine with that until I took him with me to the grocery store (for a nice slow walk around the produce section)?  As we were driving, we both had matching cups and drinks in the car beverage holder, Andy asked me, in all seriousness, to take a big sip of my drink.  I asked why?  Well, duh, mom, our drinks are not level with each other.  Monk is on hold for a while (maybe forever).  

Weird stuff? I was paying bills today (I put it off because I like having a bank balance over a weekend).  The bill I MOST hate to pay is my student loan bill (yes, I am 1000 years old and still paying on a student loan).  I owe the money, I pay it, but it ticks me off that I was soooo stoopid back then - I let myself be talked into those loans.  This, dear children of mine (if you're reading), is why I am so opposed to going into debt for an undergrad degree.  Anyway, I went to pay the loan, like I do every stoopid month and there is nothing to pay.  The balance is gone.  I called.  All they could tell me was that the loan was gone.  I emailed (because I don't trust SallieMae) and they told me the same thing.  I know this will come back to bite us in the butt, but for this month, I'm enjoying the little cushion.  

I told Mike, poor Mike, that in my delusional world a knight-in-shining-armor has stolen our identity and is using his powers for good.  He's going to pay everything off and build us a retirement fund.  I might have slipped this past Mike - he's not stupid he knows to just half-listen to me - but I had to push the envelope and mention putting ponies into my newly painted, fenced garden of dirt.  I'm sore tempted to go find some Pretty Ponies at the thrift store tomorrow.  

Anyway, the student loan thing is weird.  I'll be keeping my eye on it for sure.  In the meantime, I'm going to bed tonight dreaming of pretty ponies, knights and Robin Hood identity thieves.  I'll see you when I get up around 4 pm - just enough time for me to dress and pretty-up for happy hour. 

$800????

So, what would you do with $800?  I can configure that amount about 200 ways.  Each of the 200 ways would be helpful to us.  I imagine it's the same for you.  

But, if you're Danny, you spent that money on a required Humanities Class called "Ethnicity and Diversity."  (I will spare you my rant on how much this is a NON-issue for kids in this age group - the school is making it an issue by making this a required class . . .) Anyway, Danny is taking this class.  He (and I) thought he'd finished all of the humanities credits for an engineering major when he was attending the local school.  Oh well.  We told Dan, Dan's advisor told Dan to just suck it up and get through it.  

He called me Friday after his class.  Dan and I share a lot of traits, but one of the best things he got from Mike is his ability to be sane and rise above people who try to tick you off.  I fail that class every single time I take it. His E&D teacher has been taking the class through US History discussing the issues.  Friday marked the day the were supposed to start on the Civil War and then Reconstruction.  The instructor announced that she doesn't like talking or thinking about war so they would be skipping those sections.  You know, because they have nothing to do with R&E issues in the late 1800's or the entire 20th century.  GAHAAHAHAHHHHHH.  And, there you go, that's about $800.  I'm happy that Dan at least realizes the gap in history and how important it is.  What about the other 200++ kids in Dan's class?  Are they aware?  I wonder if she'll skip WWII and the Holocaust as well - those are potentially upsetting.  @@  

Andy and I are losing our minds being quiet and housebound and doing so much sitting.  We have to do this until Thursday!!!!  I have to say that Andy's best friend (since he was about 3) has been here everyday (and this kid is NOT a gamer or a sitter in any way shape or form).  It means so much that he's here and he's willing to tone things down.  (I do wonder what kind of nightmare his parents are facing at the end of each day - we're all used to having physically tired kids); BUT, it's working.  No blurring, no swelling, no bleeding.  We can do this.  Right?  

lt's fall garden time.  Mike is building me a fence that is Cally-proof (as she ate most of the summer garden).  It should be done tomorrow..  I painted the first two panels last weekend.  I painted the next two panels tonight while enjoying the end of the audio version of Salem's Lot.  (This was extra fun as it's actually cool here - well, below 80)  Once I figure out what to plant, it had all better grow really well to match up to the fancy fences!!!!!  

Is anyone else on Pottermore?  Dan's girlfriend got me a spot for the Beta testing.  It's a total hoot.  I was sorted into Ravenclaw (me and Luna, doncha know?) tonight.  It's fun, but hugely time-sucking.  I might put Andy to work this week.