No ... really. Just no.

We don't fly often..  If it's going to come down to scanning my underpants, I will learn to enjoy driving with my family more.  Look at that picture!  I get grossed out by people taking their shoes off and putting them in those little bins that just go round and round to hold more and more shoes.  Blech.  I don't care if it is a 10 second scan or a 10 minute scan - I don't want to see it.  I don't want to be seen.  Yes, I want to be safe if I'm flying.  But ewwwwww . . .  if they put these scanners in everywhere, I think the people that have to watch the screenings should get a big raise.  Talk about a libido killer.  As for me, I'll walk or drive or row, thank you very much.

My mom has all of the good pictures!

But, I will forgive her because 1) she's in NC visiting my sister and her family and 2) it was my kids that put the pictures on my mom's camera . . .

For now, you will just have to imagine a 9-year-old boy who has reached Nirvana.  Yes, it's not just a rumor, Andy received a pair of Ove Gloves for Christmas from my parents.  So, since Christmas Day we've all been awakened by the dreaded Ove-Glove shake - those little rubber patches are cold first thing in the morning!  Andy, in full kitchen gear - meaning he's wearing the Ove-Gloves and his pajamas and sometimes carrying around his morning cup of coffee - wanting to know what he can put into the oven for us for breakfast and how quickly he should pull it out of the oven again.  So far, we've been eating a lot of toast.

This afternoon, as I flopped like a dead fish on the couch waiting for the good allergy medicine to kick in, Andy sat next to me and explained in GREAT detail how any loser can build with Lego's.  It takes a true genius to, you guessed it, build Lego's while wearing Ove Gloves.  (It's OK, I kind of wanted to beat him up too.)

To top it off, I gave Mike his late Christmas present. A little fire-pit thing.  It's ideal for Florida and the timing ended up being good too -- we're in the middle of a cold snap here.  Andy is our go-to-guy when it comes to hauling hot coals and tossing hot dogs wrapped in foil into the basin.  The child is a monster with his Ove-Gloves -- never mind the remote-control airplane, the excellent Nerf gun, or any of his other cool Christmas gifts.

All I can say is that we've never denied that he's a kid that marches to his own drummer.  It's not like I can point to the rest of the family (myself included) and say that we're all normal, right? Why should we expect more from him?

If you have a need for large quantities of toast, please call us.  Andy will be happy to assist you.

I am not yet dead . . .

BUT there is something in my house that is slowly killing me.  Honestly, if I had to guess someone is hiding 10 cats in my house.  I like cats well enough, I just can't breathe or open my eyes or efficiently exhale in the vicinity of cats.  Well, I have searched, no cats.  But something equally evil is slowly killing me.  When I can see and breathe again, I'll be back.  In the meantime, send albuterol - I just downed the last of a six-year-old bottle and am hoping to get some sleep.

Merry Christmas - the post-game show . . .

Well, if you celebrated Christmas, I certainly hope you had as much fun as we did.  I hate that my sister and her family don't live close.  I am lucky that my mom, dad and brother are here in town.  We met up at my folks' house on Christmas Eve.  We always do and it's always so much fun.  My mom makes the best vegetable soup in the world (and, sadly there is no recipe, it's one of those hit or miss things) and we eat that, sandwiches and pounds and pounds of cookies and chocolate.  Later on, we open gifts.  For the boys it was always a big deal to open a gift from Bing and Pap, a gift from Uncle Matt and one gift (invariably pj's) from me and Mike.  The adults open all of their presents.  Each year, it seems that one of us hits on the perfect presents.  This year, hands down it was my brother.  For Dan, the funkiest ukulele you have ever seen was his gift.  For Ian, the Magic Ian, a weighted felt derby with instructions on how to juggle and manipulate the hat.  Two boys gone and lost in their own worlds  . . . Tim received a digital microscopic video camera - sorry, no clue how it works, but it's got huge GROSS potential.  Finally, Andy received a monster box of mini-lego sets.  The angels are still singing. 

Boys distracted, we spent the evening opening gifts, largely books, and talking and laughing and laughing and talking.  Sometimes we stopped to eat a little more.  Finally, we headed home.  I had a lot of wrapping to do and the boys seemed to "get" it and they headed right to bed to play with their new toys.  I wrapped and watched White Christmas and then A Christmas Story and basked in the quiet.  Christmas Eve day had been fairly warm and all of our windows were open.  As I sat and wrapped, I was getting chillier and chillier.  Finally, I finished up my work, closed the windows around the house and headed to bed. 

Christmas morning came all too soon.  The rule is the boys can get their stockings and eat and play with whatever is inside of them until Mike gets up, which is generally before 8.  The morning was gray and wet and cold.  Mike got up, and let me know my minutes of sleep were numbered.  Waaahhhh.  Here's a picture of Danny.  Clearly he could have waited a few more hours for Christmas to begin as well!

Here's another picture . . .  can you guess that Mike and Andy are the coffee drinkers in this family?  Look at them all warm and toasty and happy.

I was up before nine and paper flew and everyone seemed happy with their gifts.  As the day progressed, I relaxed in the knowledge that they WERE happy with their gifts. 

We had bagels, lox and champagne/oj and traded things to admire. Mike and I finally got up and got into gear. The cold chilly morning had turned humid and hot.  We broke down and put on the a/c.  Within 20 minutes, I was freezing and wearing one of Mike's huge sweatshirts - you just can't win! 

We enjoyed a great lunch of grilled turkey, tortilla soup, lots of bread and rolls, cookies, candies and savory snacks as well.  It seems so silly, but I truly love having everyone here and just sitting and talking and eating and talking some more.  Though we all live within close proximity of each other, we don't do this too often. 

I think some of it is timing - we start over again this week with Ian and Tim's birthday on New Year's Eve!  We're once again hosting a NYE party.  Once again, we don't know who will be attending . . . sigh.  Oh well, it doesn't really matter, it'll be fun.  If you're in the area, you're invited!  Really.  Just come.  Bring whatever your kids like to drink and whatever you like to drink and come hungry.  Ian's got a fabulous magic show planned for around 7:30/8:00. 

OK - enough documenting my life to the point of making other people's eyes roll back in their heads . . .

Patty Cake Anyone?

My mom had me listen to this song on her I-pod this evening.  When's the last time you played Patty-Cake?  I just loved watching this video.  I hope you do too.

Still Festivus here . . .

Hope you all had a great Festivus.  Nothing like gathering around the pole and airing your grievances and diving into the physical challenges.  Very cleansing holiday. 

Today was cut-out cookie day with the neighbors.  Fun stuff.  It amazes me how each kid has their own approach to cookies.  We had fewer kids than I thought (each year is kind of a hit or miss thing), but it worked out great.  Mike had a brilliant idea a couple of days ago to get a 6' x 3" dowel from Lowe's and cut it into kid-sized rolling pins.  I labeled them all with each kid's name and will save them in the cookie cutter box for future years. This saved us a ton of time and each kid was in charge without having to pass around the monster rolling pin I normally use.  One of the pluses to living in Florida is that when the kids get restless while cookies bake, they can run around outside without even bothering about shoes.  Once the excess energy is worn off, they come back in, wash their hands and start all over again. 

In talking with the moms while the kids cut and decorated, I figured out the mystery of the random girl's clothing in my laundry.  One of the mom's (a wee thing) sent Andy home a few weeks ago with a bag of clothes she no longer wore but thought might fit me (flattering and wildly ambitious).  Andy tossed the bag in the general direction of the washer and dryer and never thought about it again.  Fun part?  Tim was not home when we figured all of this out.  I will continue to hound Tim about random girl's clothing in my dryer until the end of time. 

In other news, the gingerbread house has been reconstructed - pictures tomorrow.  My mom painted the most beautiful Christmas card this year - again picture tomorrow.  Cookies are made.  Presents are mostly wrapped.  I think I've finished everything.  I'm editing the Christmas newletter right now and then it's off to bed. 

Merry Christmas!  Here's a video to one of my favorite Christmas songs.  It's a clever, silly video, great song. 

The Reconstruction

No, this is not a history lesson.  Tonight, I finally "manned-up" (as a rule, I hate that phrase, but it's kind of funny when you apply it to a really ugly gingerbread house - at least it's funny to me!) and attempted to reconstruct the gingerbread house.  So far, so good.  I'm going slowly and carefully into this dark territory.  I'm hoping to get the roof on tomorrow, but no promises. 

Today, I left the boys to work on their own Christmas projects (low potential of violence or tumbling the tree again) and went shopping in real stores.  Yes, I got out of my yoga pants, put on grown up clothes and went shopping.  Wow, I really hate to shop.  A lot.  I think I'm like most people, I hate the things I don't do well.  I've worked to master some things I was not good at in the past.  For me, shopping doesn't really hold my interest long enough to make me want to be better at it.  That said, with my afternoon out followed by dragging Mike with me when he got home this evening, the shopping is DONE! I am not taking my yoga pants off again until next Christmas. 

I have one more project to finish, I'm nearly done and will finish that tomorrow.  The last thing dogging me is the annual Christmas newsletter.  Yes, I suppose I could just send a card, but I've been sending this letter out since 1993!  It's a personal challenge whether the recipients care or not.  Tonight, finally, while working on the gingerbread house and making crack* inspiration hit me.  I'm off to write the newsletter now.  Cross your fingers. 

*Crack AKA Saltine Toffee
(I'm sure I could stop making and eating this whenever I chose.  For now, I choose to keep making it, giving it away and eating it.  The health benefits of butter are underrated, you know.)

In a saucepan, melt 1 C. cutter and 1 C. brown sugar.  While it's melting, spread saltines (there is debate about whether to spread them salt side up or salt side down - I'm a wimp, I alternate them) in a single layer on a cookie sheet with sides (aka jelly roll pan).  When the sugar and butter are melted, bring to a boil for 3 minutes.  Dump evenly over the saltines and stick into a 400 oven for 5-6 minutes.  Pull out of the oven, let cool 4-5 minutes and evenly dump a bag of chocolate chips over this.  Let it all sit for 5 or so minutes and then spread the melty chips evenly over the saltines. Let cool completely, and break it up and eat it up.  This is so easy and tastes like you spent a lot more time on it than you did.  The trick is getting it out of your kitchen without eating it all.

Jack Bauer AND Santa Claus?

Really, it just doesn't get any better, does it?

The horror of gingerbread

0Last night, Andy had two friend spend the night.  After spending over an hour spotting Christmas lights with Mike, they came back here.  Early in the afternoon, I baked the skeleton of a gingerbread house.  The boys arrived ready to decorate.  Oh my.  For some reason, I thought the older boys would be off doing their own things. Of course not.  They helped decorate the house.  Six boys running on pure sugar.  Woo hoo.  Nothing like a well executed plan, huh?

I had the boys decorate the gingerbread house while the pieces were flat on the table.  This afternoon, I spent a LARGE amount of time cementing the walls into house form.  It was fun.  I was surprised by the boys' restraint and dedication during the decorating phase. Maybe not to my taste, but they each had a plan and they were all true to their plan.

So, after "gluing" the walls together for a few hours and then adding the roof and letting that dry for a few hours, I thought I could move the house to the premier location in our house.  And, that plan went horribly, sadly wrong.

Sad and horrible.  Truly.  And, I live in a mean family.  They will never let me live this down. 

I walked just a few steps and it just collapsed! Good news?  No big pieces actually broke, so we'll try again tomorrow.  Provided I get off the the floor sometime soon.

It had to be said.

Forget losing socks in the dryer . . .

Why am I finding random clothing, girl's clothing no less, in my wash?  This is not unusual during hot weather.  With beach trips and swimming around the neighborhood, it's not strange for someone to leave their wet things in my car or the house.  This time of year, it's kind of weird.  Two weeks ago, I found a small girl's t-shirt.  Today, a pair of wee tiny Gap shorts - size 4, I think. 

I asked the boys.  They all shrugged it off.  Danny looked at the clothes on the dryer and said "Girl-that-is-a-friend would never ever wear that, much less leave it here.  And, even if she did leave it here, do you think I would be stupid enough to put the clothes in the laundry?  Give me some credit!"  Hmmm ... he has a point. And, he's right, the clothes are not this girl's style at all.

Tim?  "You've met girl-that-is-a-friend's dad, right?  Aside from the fact that she's way too tall for those clothes, he would never let her out of the house in shorts that short."  Hmmm . . . the boy has a point.  This girl's dad has made it clear from day one that he had no qualms about squashing Tim like a bug if he made one wrong move.  And, the girl in question is tall and athletic, I can't imagine her fitting into these clothes. 

Ian just cracked up when I asked him, by now all of us were in the kitchen.  "Think about it, Mom.  If I had a girl over here, got her to leave her shirt and shorts so you could wash them don't you think I'd have been running around telling everyone?"  And, he would have been. 

Andy came at me with his sock theory.  He figures it's just like socks disappearing in the dryer.  For now, I have to agree with him.  If your teenage daughter recently arrived home in her underpants missing a tiny light blue t-shirt and some wee shorts, let me know. 

In the meantime, I think I"ll play Cinderella with any girl who comes within 50 yards of the house.  I'm going to make her try on the clothing. When the girl who fits into this clothing finally appears, I'm going to stuff her into my dryer and send her back from whence she came. 

(And, yes, I think it's weird, but I have a hard time figuring out a dire scenario given our house, our neighborhood and our lives in general.  There are just too many people, eyes and mouths for big scandals, at least within proximity of my laundry room and that is as far as my brain will allow me to travel right now.)

OK - get your butts in gear!

Well, that might be a little strong.  That was directed mostly at myself -- me, the person who was still in her pj's at 3:30 this afternoon.  Thanks to my friend, Sarah, for this handy motivational video.  Feel free to use it as you need.

The Ghost of Christmas ???

Not sure what you would call this ghost.  The Ghost of Christmas in My Mind?  The Ghost of Christmas Delusions?  I think I've crossed a line this year . . . We all knew it was only a matter of time.  I just thought it would come later rather than sooner.

I am CERTAIN that the boys have tipped, if not crashed entirely, the Christmas tree over the past four days and reassembled it badly before I got home.  As they are old enough to leave at home for long stretches, and also old enough to gauge my reactions to this sort of thing, I can get neither confirmation nor denial.  I'm clinging to my sanity here.

As I sat in the quiet late, late last night, I looked at the Christmas tree.  I had resigned myself to chaos and color and all of that.  But, the tree was not right.  There were ugly ornaments in the front that I never would have allowed to live in the front of the tree for over a week - not that I would kill a helpless ornament, but the ugly ones that have no meaning do just fine facing the back wall.  The funky paper chain garland was totally askew and weird.  The tinsel, no longer shimmery and cool-looking, looked like I had run used tin foil through a shredder and then wadded it up into balls and tossed it around the tree.

Before going to bed, I actually paced up and down in the hallway (no need to wonder, we only have one real hallway - if you've been here, it's the West Wing Hall) pondering exactly HOW Mommy Dearest it would be to wake up the entire family and demand to know what happened to my tree.  Lucky for everyone, it was TOO Mommy Dearest, even for me.  But, I cannot quite let it go.  I'm heading into Baby Jane territory folks. If you see me wandering around with random eyeliner pencils, stop me and have me committed.

I did ask everyone about the tree this morning; no one is confessing.  The four brothers are standing shoulder to shoulder, mouths sealed shut.  Mike swears he knows nothing.  I am not fooled. They are all working against me.  I'm guessing I'm going to be 80 before I know what actually happened to the tree.

OK - off to bed to wait for the Ghost of Christmas Laundry Ne'er Done or something like that. Consider yourselves warned.

My hat is off to them in a way - whatever happened, they saved my beloved Belleek Christmas tree topping star.  For that alone, I will continue to feed them.

All or Nothing

When I get a lot done, I get a LOT done.  I think after this weekend and tonight, I may just crash tomorrow.  We're officially on Winter Break and I'm tired!  But, my shopping is done, we're caught up on Latin and our other subjects, the soaps ordered thus far have been shipped, cookies and cards are on their way to the Wounded Warriors and the laundry is as contained as it's ever going to be.

Lots of fun stuff going on here, but it's all secret Christmas stuff, so I can't share right now.  Let's just say that some people in our family are going to be surprised.  I am extra excited to get to work on the project I'm making for Andy and my two nephews! 

Danny finishes up his first semester of "college-as-a-high-school-junior" tomorrow.  I haven't heard anything so I'm guessing the room-mother isn't planning a party for the last day - I picked up juice boxes just in case.  If Danny comes home with all S's on his report card (we're good with Satisfactory) maybe we'll go out for ice cream tomorrow afternoon.  (Actually, this has been a good experience for all of us.  If you are planning to homeschool through high school, consider the community college option.)

There is still time and soap available if you are still shopping!  
http://myfoilhat.blogspot.com/2009/12/soaps.html

A few clicks

and Christmas is on its Merry way.  Wahhhh ... what if I picked wrong and got the wrong things?  I soooo soooo sooo hate to shop- in person, online, any which way you can shop.  But, I sucked it up and did it tonight. I have a couple of things I would like to finish making as gifts, lots and lots of SOAP to ship out.  How are things going in your world?

I'm still seeking answers to the bathtub thing ... anyone?  Bueller? 

Read here if you must.  

http://myfoilhat.blogspot.com/search/label/things%20to%20worry%20about  You'll have to cut and paste the link, I cannot make it work right now.  Sorry.

You can do this. It's not hard and it's not much . . . so I 've signed you all up.

Here's a message from my friend, Karen.  Karen is not only the mother is six boys (yep, I have no right to whine), her husband is military and currently deployed, she's living in the sub-arctic and, really, she's just a far better woman than I will ever be. 

Anyway,as we were discussing our homeschool board's Christmas card list, she asked if we would all do this as well.  We'll be sending a little package from each of us and I hope many of you can do the same.  Here is Karen's note:


Okay, first the ground rules:

1.  Cards - Please make sure that they are generic "holiday" cards and not specific to a certain religion.  There are wounded warriors of all faiths (and of no particular faith) who will be in the ICU.  Cards with patriotic themes are best.

2.  Letters - Letters are great.  The only ground rule for the letters is to make sure that you don't make any political statements in the letters.  Make the focus of the letter on the patient, not the war.

3.  Treats - Treats are fine, but they must be packaged accordingly.  To those who expressed an interest in sending homemade cookies or treats, package them in Ziploc bags and then put the baggies into disposable plastic containers in order to avoid them being crushed in shipment.

4.  Address - You don't have to put anything on the outside except the following address.  No need to say "ANY SOLDIER" or anything like that.  This address is for the theater hospital's chaplain who interacts with the ICU patients daily.  My husband already talked with the chaplain and has let him know that your cards and letters will be coming.

AFTH Chapel Services - Ward/CASF
332 EMDG
APO AE  09315

I want to express to you how much this means both to my husband and me, and to the anonymous soldiers who will be receiving your donations of love.  The average age of the soldiers over there is under the age of 21, many of them still unmarried.  For them to know that there are still people back home who care for them is an immeasurable treasure.  Very humbly, I say thank you on their behalf.

Some additional notes:
Hmmm...

You can send as many cards/letters as you would like.  The chaplain will hand them out to patients as he sees the need arise.  I can say with certainty that homemade treats are best.  They get a variety of store-made items at the chow hall/cafeteria/hospital, but they seldom get anything with that "back-home touch".  So just some homemade cookies - nothing fancy - are great. 

Once they are in the theater hospital, all their needs are taken care of.  They are in need of nothing, really.  They just need something to lift their spirits more than anything.  Pictures that kids draw, words of kindness, expressions of thanks for their service, etc., go a long way.  You can include a picture of your family so they have a friendly smile to go along with your written words.  Don't be afraid to talk about yourself in order to introduce yourselves to him/her. 

They most likely will NOT write back to you since they will be in transit as soon as they are stablized.  (They leave the CASF in Iraq and head to the CASF in Germany before ultimately heading back to the States.)  But if you want to leave your return address, you might get lucky. 

Also, please allow 7-14 days for your shipment to make it there.  I have been lucky in that when I send a package from here on Thursday, it arrives on the following Tuesday.  I doubt that will hold true during the Christmas season, so gve your letters/packages ample time to reach them.

Does that help?  Let me know if something is unclear.

Soaps!

If anyone is looking for last minute gifts, I have a limited amount of 'soap trios' for sale right now.  These are not the soap trio's I used to sell at The Foil Hat.  These are beautifully wrapped soaps, bound together with a strip of earthy corrugated cardboard and tied up with raffia that matches the paper in which the soaps are wrapped.  I have these because these are what I am giving as gifts to a lot of people (people who know me for real, don't read!!!).  But, I have a hard time making things in moderation. 

Here's the deal.  You get a wrapped gift of three bars of long lasting, 70% olive oil/100% vegetarian soaps.  Really, they're very pretty.  For your $18, I will send you the lovingly made and wrapped soap and I will  even toss in the shipping!  I will take orders until the 18th.  The first round of orders will ship on Monday morning via UPS.  If you need to use USPS, there will be an extra charge, just email me (all4mine@bellsouth.net).

The trios (I'm sorry, no substitutions - with the limited amount of soap I'm making ubstitutions just does not work.) :

Trio One - The Bestsellers!
Rosemary Mint - slightly scrubby, herbal blend.  Great wake-you up soap!
Pink Sugar - a warm vanilla scent that appeals to men and women alike.  This is s dark brown soap because of the high vanilla content.
Clean - a crisp, clean scent that will have you wondering, "Where I have I smelled that smell and why does it make me so happy?" 

Trio Two - The Seasonals
Apple Jack and Peel - a cheery red soap that exudes warmth and coziness.  As the name implies, there is a hint of apple, a twinge of orange peelings and some cinnamon to bring it all home.  Even teachers, who get apple-everything over the holidays, like this one.
Frosted Snowdrop - this soap is full of that fresh blast of air (and how it smells) when you are out walking in flurries or a full-blown storm.  It's fresh and refreshing at the same time!
Frankincense - Yep.  The Wise Man soap.  It's masculine but not too macho. This is one of those soaps I always think I don't like, but then am surprised when Mike puts it in the shower.  I really DO like it!  Fun stuff.

Trio Three - The Food
Awesome Almond - Yum ... delicious warm almond scent surrounding you every morning or every night as you shower.  If you like almonds, you'll love this.  Go ahead, I know you feel like a nut!
Chocolate Indulgence - what else do I have to say?  It's chocolate.  It's delicious.  If you're really feeling like a nut, use a bar of Chocolate Indulgence in one hand and a bar of Awesome Almond in the other.  It'll be like trick or treating nekkid.
Malabar Peppercorn - this is one of those "you-have-to-try-it" scents.  It sounds crazy - who wants to shower with pepper, but the smell is truly intoxicating.  You won't be sneezing.  In fact, you'll take your shower and then drag the bar of soap out to your kitchen to sniff it next to your pepper shaker.  And, they'll smell the same and you'll scratch your head and wonder why you so enjoyed your shower because it sure didn't seem like taking a shower with pepper! 

Trio Four - Power Soaps
Dragon's Blood - Do I really need to say anything else? It's a dark brown soap with red "confetti" and if you call it Dragon's Blood, the most resistant little boy in the world will use it at least once with great gusto!
Down by the Shore - Hands down, my favorite soap smell.  It IS the beach.  Salt, sand, and wind (wind has a smell, right?)  This soap is a pretty aqua color with crispy white waves floating through it.
Scrubby Gardener's Soap - rough and rugged and it smells like a really nice-smelling hippy!  Lemongrass, anise, patchouli and cloves round out this soap chock full of scrubby goodness.  Poppy seeds, Anise seeds, corn meal and a dash of  Rosemary leaves makes this the perfect gardener, hunter, fisher and/or mechanic's soap.  It's also just great for us regular folk. 

I don't have a lot of these - 50 sets, tops.  I will update this link to keep you posted if you're interested.

If you're not interested, thanks for dropping by!  We'll return to our regularly scheduled weirdness tomorrow.

Crazy dog update . . .

Anyone have a puppy they want to give away?  Scout and the guinea pigs are making me insane.  She whines all day long.  She's only happy if we give her a pig or, even better, if we take both pigs out of the cage and let her herd and groom them.  Thing is, I'm terrified she's going to crush a pig or something awful.  Do guinea pigs have heart attacks?  Scout is far and away the best dog I've ever known in my life, but she's getting weirder and weirder the older she gets.  Hmmmm....that sounds familiar for some reason.

Bye, bye, my oven has died . . .

Go ahead, listen and sing along . . .

The stove/oven died a total and complete death this evening.  As per our 12 week span of Thanksgiving through mid-January another appliance has bitten the dust.  The freezer in the garage went not too long ago, why not the stove too?  We knew it was coming, but we thought the old girl had another couple of months in her.

So, now we have a shiny new stove.  Truly it's beautiful.  We have a giant box, I smell Christmas gift.  And we are screwed again.  Gah! I'm finishing up the laundry and revising my Christmas shopping list as I type. 

I kind of heart the new oven, but I'm guessing the boys are not going to buy it as a family Christmas gift.  The box?  Potential there.  Maybe I can wrap up some sticks and call it good?

New month, new food!

Flip me a fish!  Arrrr!  Arrrr!

This month is a big grocery shopping month.  Lots of 50 lb bags of staples, lots of bulk meats and cheese.  We're set for a good 6-8 weeks here.  Tonight, I repackaged cheese, meat and staples into usable portions.  I cooked about 10 lbs of ground meat and bagged it up for the freezer, I made three meatloaves and I also managed to get 12 hamburgers out of the deal.  I like having one night of a lot of work for a few weeks of quick meals. 

I also juggled in making four loaves of bread and I went nuts (found the bundt pan) and made a breakfast cake.  Why, you ask?  Because I have TONS and TONS of laundry to do.  Enough that I had to stay up late to get it all moving.  I knead (get it?  bread joke) to have something to do if I have to stay up.

The upside?  Quiet time to enjoy the Christmas decorations and some silence. The decorations are pretty this year. The laundry is nearly done.  Breakfast is made for the morning, no dishes/pots/pans necessary!  We have a week's worth of bread and several weeks worth of meals in the freezer!  So, yes, I declare, I deserve a fish!  ;) 

Now, to fight my urge to cancel school for the rest of the month . . . must persevere. 

A manly Christmas

Yes, we're having us a manly Christmas.  I have surrendered.  I want a magazine Christmas with cute little decorations and whimsical twists at every turn.  Alas, I live with five men.  Have you ever watched men move furniture into a new house?  Every piece of furniture gets slammed up against a wall and when the truck is unloaded they do chest-bumps and declare victory. 

That is Christmas in my house.  Once they toss the boxes marked "Fragile" from the 'attic' onto Andy's unsuspecting head, it's pretty much done.  For them.  I keep trying to sneak in and actually take the decorations out of the boxes and put them in pretty places around the house.  Why?  Why do I torture myself every year?  I set up the Nativity only to wake in the morning to find the Wise Men acting as "pull thingies" for our ceiling fans.  That the house has not spontaneously burst into flames is a true Christmas miracle. 

Each year, we pick a date and we put the tree up and decorate it.  This year, we chose, December 6.  On the 5th, I assembled the tree and put the lights on while watching a terrible Lifetime Christmas movie.  The only good thing I can say about the movie is that it drove everyone in the house to bed early.  I would watch it again for that reason only. 

Last night, after dinner, it was time to decorate the tree.  For years and years and years, the tree was mine.  I had a box of unbreakable ornaments for the boys to hang on the bottom of the tree.  Mike was generally at work.  So, it was up to me.  And, to be honest, I liked it that way. Now that I'm the second shortest person in the house and given the fact that Mike is home, WAAAHHHHHH!!!!!

They ripped into the boxes of ornaments last night the way most men rip into a plate of wings.  And the five of them stampeded around the tree, with Christmas Vacation blaring in the background and they proceeded to hang ornaments.  Ugly oranament?  Put it dead-front.  Themed ornaments?  Let's hang them all on the same branch, it will save time.  The fact that there are, for some reason, 8,000 ornaments on our tree related in some way to Danny?  Guys:  "Let's use that until we make Andy sob and collapse on the couch in a heap of 'No one loves me's!'"  Oh yeah, big fun.  And people wonder why my eye twitches? 

When they managed to hang the last ornament, I'd completely given up hope and was in the kitchen searching for schnapps . . . I eased my way into the living room.  I restarted Christmas Vacation, because I think it's hilarious.  That alone killed off three of the five.  When I started asking the remaining two what they thought about switching this ornament for that one, they quickly disappeared as well. 

I am sure I sound hateful and ungrateful, I'm not.  I just do not understand the people I'm currently living with AT ALL.  Tree decorating, in my world, is a thoughtful, day-long process, not a race to hang the most ornaments the fastest. 

Once they all went to bed, I DID rearrange the tree, but not nearly as much as I have in years past.  They're learning.  I added the tinsel and watched "It's a Wonderful Life." Ahhhh . . . this is a terrible picture of the tree.  I DO need my men - I'll have Tim take some good pictures tomorrow.

Friday

Last night, when I found myself using oyster crackers as croutons and mixing assorted salad dressings to make one dressing that would cover our Caesar salad for our chicken Caesar salad pita sandwiches for dinner, I had to suck it up and plan Friday around grocery shopping.  I really hate grocery shopping.  It's like laundry.  You have to do it and just when you think you're done, you have to do it again.  I hate disposable chores.

We got up this morning, it was cold and rainy and cold, well, Florida cold.  We did most of our school work in a mix of pajamas and sweatshirts.  Yes, we were cold, but it's so rarely cold here, we could not bring ourselves to shut all the windows.  Layers and hot chocolate and tea even things out. School has been going pretty smoothly this year.  The older boys need so little from me these days - basic direction and one or two sit downs a week, maybe an odd discussion about something they've been reading at midnight, but it feels too easy sometimes.

Andy still needs more of my help and direction.  But, he's young enough to be bribed with mini marshmallows and M&M's.  Thanks to those of you who gave me tips on prepositions.  Things are going along a little more smoothly now.  We still have some work ahead of us, but he's getting it.  I think.  I think I remember feeling this way when the older boys were this age, but it's all a blur now.  The other three know their prepositions, so whatever we did worked, I'm just going to stay the course. 

Dan was working on a paper and catching up on math today.  Ian and Tim were being Ian and Tim.  They've been reading Hamlet.  Hamlet is, in my opinion, the most insane thing Shakespeare ever wrote.  But, that's what makes it fun.  Over the weekend, they watched the Kenneth Branagh version of the movie.

It's a good version of Hamlet.  I saw it years and years and years ago.  You know, before Kenneth Branagh was Professor Lockhart in one of the Harry Potter movies? Watching it post-Harry changes things a bit.  Not lost on Ian and Tim for a minute.  It doesn't help that I thought kicking off our semester of Shakespeare by watching The Reduced Shakespeare Company perform all of Shakespeare's plays in something like 45 minutes.  They are hysterical, but in hindsight, it might have been better to watch that dvd AFTER we completed our Shakespeare study.  Video is at the top of the page - if you are even remotely familiar with Shakespeare you'll find yourself laughing.  Even if you're not familiar with Shakespeare, if you are my age and used to like watching Carol Burnett - right up your alley.

Anyway, I finished up what I needed to do with the older boys for school, and left them to work on their own.  I forced Andy into a pair of shoes (a rare occurrence) and headed out with him in tow to do the grocery shopping.  As we were driving to the store, Andy asked if I had had lunch.  Hmmmm . . . nope.  Was I hungry?  You know, come to think of it, yes, I was hungry.  And, then we went shopping.

Go figure, we came home with all kinds of fun food that I NEVER buy.  Granted, I got it at great prices, but still.  When we came home and unloaded the car the older boys were shocked.  I overheard Andy telling them in the garage as they were hauling food in, "You just have to remind her that she's hungry and she'll buy just about anything."  I'm going to have to stay on my toes with him.   Of all the boys, Andy is going to be the one that brings me down. 

Hope you like the Reduced Shakespeare video link.  Ian and Tim both had interesting outlines focusing on what else?  Various themes of insanity running through the play when I got home.  The resulting essays should be interesting and most likely hilarious.  Oh well, how many 10th graders have that much fun with Shakespeare? 

Oh, and you know how I like my online riddles.  Here's a new one that's kind of fun. You can jump around so you aren't stuck at one level endlessly.  Andy and I worked on it a bit tonight.  Here's the link if you want to give it a try.  The Great Internet Duck Hunt. It's clever and there are some funny ducks as well.

I KNOW I am not alone

Well, obviously, I'm not alone.  There are four sleeping boys, a dog, two guinea pigs and a loudly snoring husband scattered amongst the east and west wings of my house . . . it's been decades since I have been alone on anything resembling a regular basis.  AND, I'm sure in a dozen years, I'll be sitting here typing my 15,000th post about how lonely I am and how the boys never call me.

But, that is not what I'm talking about right now.  This afternoon, I was thinking, I am surely not alone in handling how my own moods affect the entire family.  For the most part, I'm kind of a roll-with-the-tide kind of person.  It's not really my nature, but it's my life right now.  And, every single December I face the fact that my nature and my life don't always work well together.  (Wasn't last year's tree purty?)

Every single December, I confront the perfectionist that lurks deep inside my soul and we battle until one of us gets sick or hides under the bed for a week.  Usually I get sick or hide under the bed because the perfectionist inside of me would never do such an undignified thing. This year is no different, I guess.  I woke up feeling stressed out ... bills, we need groceries, laundry, teen boys with girlfriends, you get the picture.  This is not that unusual for me.  But, normally, by the time I have my shower and a Diet Coke, I sort things out in my head and start the day with a plan of attack.

Today, eh, not so much.  For some reason, the angst and the dread just got worse and worse through the afternoon.  Christmas is SO hard.  I want to at least get everyone something they will like and be happy with AND that we can afford.  This gets tricky with four kids who are no longer impressed with little people toys.  BUT, the thing that is so crazy is that the boys don't care.  They have no huge expectations.  They had a blast sitting with Mike last night debating which Christmas cookies to make this year - no small debate, mind you.  Cookies are serious business here.

Yet, every year, I get worked up and agonize and stress myself out for no real reason.  I remember being 15-16-17 - Christmas was fun but it wasn't about presents. Mostly what I wanted was a good book and maybe a sweater.  I don't think my own kids are much different.  And, still I agonize.  And agonize.  And I agonize (love that word) so much that I manage to put everyone else in the house in a bad mood too.  So, then, I'm not only angsting about what might or might not happen, I'm dealing with a bunch of mean kids who do not even know why they're being mean.  Let's just say today was a long day and I played a huge part in making it so long.

Luckily for all of us, everyone had somewhere to go this afternoon.  Time apart is a good thing.  A kid that can drive everyone to the place that makes us apart is even better. I made dinner, watched ELF while I cooked and left it for everyone to get for themselves and took a glorious nap.  I felt much more sane when I got up - I made some lists and I'm going to stick to them and (unless we win the lottery) I'm just going to work on making the whole season fun and not focus on trying to make it all perfect and fulfill everyone's dreams with the perfect gift.

And, if I can manage this, I think the rest of our December will go much more smoothly than today.  We will have fun making cookies, walking around checking out Christmas lights, planning Mike's birthday (the 11th) and our annual New Year's Eve bash aka Ian and Tim's 16th birthday aka Ian's Monster Magic Show.  That is the kind of stuff the boys will remember when they're my age.  Right?  I really need a "Cher" kind of friend to show up here every morning to slap me and tell me to "Snap out of it."  Volunteers?

AM I alone with my mixed up priorities during the holidays?  Will one of you buy us a lottery ticket?  As much as we count on the lottery as our retirement plan, we really should start buying tickets.

Why The Face?

Is anyone else watching "Modern Family?"  We like the show.  The first episode featured one dad talking about how "cool" he was and how he understood all of the internet abbreviations.  He mentioned a few and ended with WTF - WhyTheFace? Ummm ... right.    We have overused WhyTheFace beyond belief since seeing this.

WhyTheFace?  I'm so over everything right now.  We don't shelter our kids a whole lot, but we don't just sit and mindlessly watch garbage either - well, we do sometimes, but only good garbage.  We work hard to give them information about people to admire who have had 100's of years of proven accomplishments, rather than 1.5 years of fame. We talk often about accomplishment vs. fame.  We make them eat vegetables.  We make them shower (with soap and water and shampoo and all of that) on a daily basis.  We are doing the best we can, just like most parents.  But, it does not feel like enough.

We DO need the computer (you know, unless the whole world shuts down, then we won't need the computer).  The boys have online classes.  Danny communicates with his college teachers via email and online chats.  I have my own issues, but I NEED the computer, if for nothing else, to pay the bills and keep track of the boys.  Lately, though, I'm thinking about going back to the quill and ink well.

WhyTheFace?  First, we have Adam Lambert, of American Idol fame.  We watch American Idol (well, the older boys shun it being cool and preferring bands that scream, but Mike and I watch).  I think Adam Lambert is a talented young man.  I got a huge kick out of watching him on AI and was looking forward to what he would do next.  I guess lucky for us we don't watch the American Music Awards.  I awoke the next morning to find links to the video of his performance.  Ummm, hello?  8 pm music show?  His act was more than I would want to explain to a kid who is still up at 8 pm waiting for Taylor Swift.  Gah.  He's gay, we get it - you go Adam.  No matter what your preference,  I don't want to see anyone gay or straight simulating any kind of sex at 8 pm on network television. This is why God made HBO and other outlets.  And, that is WhyTheFace.

WhyTheFace? Next, Tiger Woods.  For heaven's sake, Tiger Woods? Tiger Woods?  I'm so sad for his wife and his kids and for him too.  Yes, I count myself among the people who really thought he was who he appeared to be - wholesome, talented, and all of that.  Of course, I once thought the same of Michael Jordan.  Color me disappointed and sad for everyone involved.  (And, what the heck with these woman?  When did it become OK to publicize the fact that you are a slut? It's Tiger Woods, it's not like you did not know about him.  I feel sorry for these womens' parents and for them as well.  15 minutes of fame buys you a reputation for a lifetime.)  I hope this story will die down quickly, but I doubt it will.  Again, that is WhyThe Face?

WhyTheFace? For now, I'm up.  We're under a tornado watch and the last few tornadoes that hit Central Florida were sore close to our house.  I'm going to go paint some trash-picked chairs Mike and the boys have found recently.  While I paint, I will be listening for train-like wind noises.  Give me a hurricane any day. The WhyThe Face for now is because I am worried and I don't have ruby slippers, Mike and the boys lack ruby slippers as well. (I'm such a slacker - we are footwear deprived here.)  And, to top it off, Scout refuses to answer to the name Toto.  We are so screwed.

(The chairs are nice chairs, just in need of some love.  At this rate, we'll be able to sit the whole neighborhood in our driveway in another month - hooray!  Nuthin' better than some fancy driveway seatin'!)

So, there's the WhyTheFace update for us.  How about you?  What has you making faces these days?

My love/hate relationship with Walmart . . .

As you all know, I have issues with Walmart.  They have been documented here and, more hilariously (this is one of my very favorite blog entries ever!)
HERE .

Today was a good Walmart day.  Andy and I went to Walmart to pick up some basic supplies after we'd wrapped up school today.  (Teachers and homeschool moms, any tips for teaching prepositions?  Andy and I are really struggling right now.) Ian and Tim gladly agreed to do the dishes and flip laundry while we were gone.  Hah, silly boys, they think I forgot their Latin today.  (They're not going to be real happy in the morning, but, I got two loads of laundry out of it.  I found a copy of Yes, Virginia, There is a Santa Claus, in Latin for them to translate this month.  Should be fun.)  Dan was gainfully occupied with a paper he has to turn in tomorrow, so he was excused.

Andy and I usually have fun together and today was no exception.  The child can talk and talk and talk and he never notices my eyes rolling into the back of my head.  But, for the most part, he's interesting and kind of funny.  I split my list in two and gave Andy half.  Yes, I'm a bad mom, I let my nearly 10 year old go off in Walmart.  But, he is a tough kid and he did not have his own cart, so he was constantly checking in with me as he brought items back to the cart.

I sent him on his merry way and was surprised when he came back within a few minutes.  Oops, I had given him the half of the list with "cheap cooking wine," beer for Mike (the good stuff) and beer for Mom (the cheap stuff).  Even I draw the line at a 9-year-old marching through Walmart hauling a six pack of Blue Moon.  We traded lists and got to work.

In about 20 minutes, we were done and in line for the check out.  Tuesday afternoon in the middle of Super Walmart is a pretty slow time.  I have to say that the woman in front of us in the checkout line was one of those master coupon people.  She had a little file box and everything.  It was amazing to watch her technique.  I suck at coupons, I've tried and I bow to those that have figured it all out.  She checked out with an overfull cart of groceries for just under $40.  I wanted to applaud, but thought that would make me look kind of stupid.  Looking back, I wish I had applauded!

As the cashier starting scanning our groceries, we talked about the amazing coupon lady.  Andy interrupted with the usual question, "How much, Mom?"  All of the boys and I play this game - whoever comes closest to the total gets the first Frosty (Wendy's is on our way home and I bribe my kids with Frosty's).  I was only buying the usual stuff and hadn't been paying too much attention to prices.  I said $115.  Andy guessed $98.  The cashier joined in, scanned the conveyor belt and said, "Oh no, I'm going to go with $132."  Well, our total was $133.27.  Impressive, huh?

Part of what I bought was canned sliced potatoes.  $.25 per can.  I usually keep a handful of these for nights when time is tight.  At $.25 per can, I bought 20 cans.  It takes 5 cans to feed just our family for one meal.  The cashier asked me what I did with them.  I told her I fry them in butter with a lot of salt and pepper.  The edges get all nice and crusty.  She asked how many people in our family and I told her.  Turns out she has three teen boys to feed as well.

There was no one in line behind me so we had a really nice conversation about how to feed starving teen boys.  Basically, potatoes, rice, grits and a variation of spices.  Ramen noodles and hard boiled eggs came up on the list as well.  It was so nice and strange to talk to this woman.  I sincerely doubt we have anything else in common beyond our boys, but that is a big bond.  And, on most of my trips to Walmart, I never would have had the time or opportunity to talk to this woman.

During our conversation, Andy offered up a couple of dead-on impersonations of his older brothers.  The cashier and I howled.  I guess being a mom to teen-age boys is a universal bond.  They are all goofy and hungry and weird.

Anyway, I feel like it's only fair to put this side of Walmart out there.  When's the last time you hugged your cashier after you've paid.  I know, me too.  I'm not a hugger, but sometimes, it's what works.