I don't have time for this . . .

I felt pretty human most of yesterday - until about 8 pm and the splitting headache and body aches resumed. I slept most of today. My family cheered when I actually took a shower before settling back down on the couch. Tonight, I still feel blah . . . I'm waiting out the next hour so I can take more drugs and go back to sleep. Tomorrow has to be better, right?

I had plans to go to the movies with my mom tomorrow, but as she and my dad are planning to leave for Paris in less than two weeks, I am not going near her in case this is contagious. Talk about an opportunity for laying guilt on your oldest child! "Honey, remember how you ruined our lifelong dream to visit Paris? No. No reason for the call. Your father and I were just sitting here flipping through the blank photo album - you remember the one I picked up with the Eiffel Tower on the cover - wondering if you remembered what you had done to us and our dreams. Gotta run, sweetie. We're off to Denny's for the all-you-can-eat French creep special." (You all might want to spray your screens with Lysol just in case.)

Anyway, please cross your fingers that this is almost over and everyone else stays healthy! That or send clean clothes and groceries.

Alas . . .

I've been down most of this week with a neck that refuses to turn to the left and some kind of funky sinus thing that has been making focusing on anything more difficult than HGTV exhausting. Tonight if can finally sit and type without feeling like my head is going to just float off of my shoulders. Weird feeling . . .

Danny has survived his first round of classes at SCC. I'm more than disgusted right now with the whole thing. The website and all of the paperwork I've seen so far states that tuition and books for dual-enrolled (high school kids) students is free. Well, it's not. After many agonizing phone conversations, I think I finally understand that this only applies to 'some' public-schooled kids and never to homeschoolers. Fine. I figured he's taking basic classes, how bad can it be?

Ummm ... $468 worth of bad. Yes, you read right - $468 for THREE classes. WHAT about pre-calculus has changed significantly in the past 100 years that requires the newest edition text book for this course? There are NOT suitable used options available. I find it hard to believe that the ONLY book for this class is the $137 text. Really? On to English Composition. Again, English writing 101 is a pretty basic course. I'm not sure what kind of paybacks this teacher is getting that has her insisting that her students need a $300+ bundle of books for this semester. Of the bundle, I can find one book used for a savings of $17. I'm guessing Danny's Humanities teacher lives here on planet earth and might even have kids. Her books are solid texts and used copies are abundant. I don't hate her yet.

I'm grateful we do not have to pay the tuition. If we were, I would be beyond outraged. So many people who use community colleges have families and are working and trying to get ahead. These are not people who have that kind of money to spend on text books. It's insanity. Sure, if you are taking medical classes or law classes, you might truly need the newest book, but there are not a lot of courses in the first two years of college that fall into that category. Gaahhh ... See that? My headache is back and my head is immobile just from typing that out. It's going to be a lean September here. Send your best bean recipes quick!

I'm going back to my little cave on the couch. You guys have a great Friday. I'll be back when I can be nice.

This was jaw-dropping . . .

Not pure ballet, not pure acrobatics ... but ummm... tell me that guy does not have a HUGE headache!

I'm sorry for no posts lately, we've started up school and the logistics are all different this year. I'll be back soon. And I'll have fun stuff to tell you. In the meantime, rest-assured I'm doing my work as a homeschool mom - Andy has already been up once with a nightmare that involved Queen Victoria. (Imagine the smug, satisfied look on my face after shaking him out of his terror. :::sniff:::)

In the meantime, I hope you get a kick out of this.

It's a Back-to-School-Sale!

In an effort to clear some space on my bookshelves while making the world a better-smelling place, I'm putting these soaps on sale. All prices include shipping via UPS.

Six-Soap-Sampler: Clean Cotton; Lavenilla; Orange Patchouli; Rosemary Mint; Berries, Figs and Flowers; and English Lavender. All six can be yours for $35. Includes shipping and gift-worthy packaging.

Pure Castille Twosome: Two bars of glorious, pure olive oil soap. No scent, no color, no nothing, but smooth, soothing soap. $15. Includes shipping and gift-worthy packaging.

In case I vanish . . .

It's the sunflower! It's going to eat us, I just know it. It looks normal, but I think it's a zombie sunflower.

Look at the pictures. One was taken two days ago and the other was taken just 90 minutes ago. This thing is going to absorb us or something equally Stephen-King-ish. It's just a matter of time . . .

TWO DAYS AGO: Ian and the sunflower

It all looks so harmless and innocent back then, doesn't it?

TODAY: Ian and the sunflower - I don't know that I can ever forgive myself for sending my son into this situation ... Fortunately, it's all worked out ... he's safe under his Barney blanket and snoring as you read (and you know NOTHING about the Barney blanket).

Beach = Good

It was worth driving six boys to the beach today. Sure, they talk a lot, make a lot of bodily noises and like to listen to really strange music. Despite all of that, they're fun to be around! And, don't tell, they're kind of funny. Actually, they're really funny. Hysterically funny. And, this is why I'll never be taken seriously for too long around here. I crack up too easily. I'm part of the problem. (But, really, if they're smart and funny - as opposed to mean, cheap funny - how do I resist?)

As I was doing laundry, making lists and brownies last night, the boys called me outside to see our Jack-and-the-Beanstalk-Sunflower. This thing grows about 3" a day. It was a regular old sunflower seed when we planted it, but now I'm kind of scared.

To start things off, I made THE LIST. I do this before every beach trip. I make a four column list. Things to get. Things in the fridge. Essential beach supplies. Toys, games, books, cameras, etc. Now that the boys are older, it makes getting ready to go the beach pretty easy. I prep what can be prepped the night before. The boys do the rest when they get up. Danny gets his surfboard on the roof. Ian and Tim secure boogie boards, frisbees, etc. We all load up the coolers and beach bags. Takes about 20 minutes in the morning. Those of you with small kids, don't give up. When we left the beach today, I timed it. Me, six boys, packed, loaded, showered and on our way home in 18 minutes.

We had a great time. I spent the first 1-2 hours out in the water with Andy and his bff, Paul. Somehow, Paul and I ended up lagging behind and the pair of us were pummeled by random waves. We could not seem to get out to the others who were standing in relatively calm water picking and choosing their way. We finally made it, but we worked mighty hard to get there. I'm just grateful that Paul was willing to hold my hand and guide me. I didn't have my glasses on and he was my vision-advisor. Whew! Notice how my own children simply abandoned me? Paul is my new favorite child. The highlight for Andy and Paul? Catching gooey jelly fish without stinging issues. Priceless +++ Blech.

Finally, I had to go back to our spot. We all had sandwiches, ginormous grapes, chips and drinks. The boys left me to hit the water again. (No, I don't enforce the 1-hour rule after you eat now that they all swim better than I do.) I spent a lot of time staring at the horizon. I read a bit. I periodically jumped up and ran to the surf to tell the younger kids they were too far down. There's just something about sitting on an empty beach . . .

Nothing has changed since yesterday, but I feel much calmer about it all. My worries are just that - my worries. In the past I've worried and worried and worried. I don't know that it helped anything. For now, I'm good with doing the best we can do and going from there. What else is there?

My favorite part of today? All the boys hit the water with surf or boogie boards. Paul opted to go solo. He and I ended up lagging behind the others but we finally made it to the calm spot between waves. I asked Paul if he'd like a boogie board (thinking I could sneak in a Diet Coke while I graciously picked up said boogie board) and he shut me down. "No thanks. I like to Man Surf." I know he meant body-surf, but this cracked me up all day long. And, Man Surf he did. He caught more waves than just about anyone in our group.

I'm off to finish beach laundry - which always smells WAY better than real laundry. See you guys tomorrow.

Gah - teenagers!

I know. The goal is to raise them to be independent, decent people and then let them loose. But, I'm starting to think the last few years of teenage-dome might send me right over the edge. Now, if stress caused my stomach to flatten or my boobs to perk up, I might be OK with the stress. But NOOOOOO ... the only thing I'm getting from the stress is heartburn and a potential ulcer and zits. And, these side-effects are not making me a kind and gracious parent.

AND, at the same time, I remember being 16/17. If my parents said I had to be home at 11, I would sit at the foot of our long driveway and wait until 1 minute before 11 before I would go into the house. Yeah, yeah, reap what you sow and all of that. But, I am a much angrier person deep-down than my mom ever was. And still, nothing changes. :::sigh:::

So much is changing around here so fast. Danny's starting at the community college, three classes and nearly $500 in books!!!! Um not happening. The boys' tae kwon do school is closing and the kids are sad and I am sad and mad about it. Nine years invested in this school and this teacher. I understand the reasons behind the closing, but I'm still kind of irked about it. And, now what do I do with them? Have I mentioned the $367 electric bill? We've never in the 17 years we've been paying electric to this company had a bill this high. And, we had to pay our new insurance bill. Danny's car accident isn't helping - I don't blame him, new drivers screw up - but YIKES!!! Oh, and the ortho finally wants to get Ian out of braces (after 4 years) ... but he needs an implant or a little bridge for the one tooth he's missing - minimum $600, like now. And, to top it off, today I received three Christmas catalogs. Gah. Christmas on top of everything else? I'm feeling kind of "uhhh" about it all.

Tomorrow (actually today, it's late) we're heading to the beach for the day. Me, my four boys, friend one and friend two. I've packed a ton of food. I'm looking forward to it. I figure it's not that much longer that I'll have beach days with all of my boys. We have multiple cameras packed so expect pictures tomorrow.

I'm really hoping that the beach will calm me down A LOT. In the meantime, feel free to send money and lottery tickets. ;)

Making a comeback .. sort of . . .

Finally, my brain is back. I'm ready to face the new school year. No, my plans are not entirely outlined, but that's ok, they never are. I woke up this morning and felt like me, not lazy-summer-me. It's time to dig in and get going. Sort of. I still plan to hit the beach Wednesday. A last hurrah and all of that ...

Today, I got myself organized. I made lists. I did laundry. I cooked ahead. I discovered that Stamps.com is an evil organization (remember the days of trying to quit AOL? They're worse). Despite the limp and everything, I woke up FINALLY in the right mindset to continue this homeschool journey for another year. Ten is a magic number, right?

I think our late-day trip to visit friends who are in Daytona Beach for a week was a boost. While I LOVE going to the beach. I LOVE even more going to the beach and then being able to spend sometime cooling off and de-salting at a hotel pool. We did just this yesterday and had so much fun. Did I mention there were women to talk to and two adorable little girls to hang out with during our visit? Much as I love my family, sometimes, it's just nice to talk to people who have body parts similar to my own, kwim?

Mike and the boys had a great time surfing, boogie boarding and dodging the huge waves for hours. Tim tested his underwater camera-case in the ocean. I think the surf might have been a little rough for a first outing. He had the case strapped to his wrist (using a cable from an old boogie board), he had an actual boogie board strapped to his wrist and goggles and 6 ft waves. I think he got some decent footage. But in return for his efforts, he has a bizarre sand burn around his left eye and multiple bruises. I can't find the surfing footage, but I will share once Tim shares with me.

I spent quite a bit of time in the ocean. Ugh, I hate not having contacts. Once I
take off my glasses, it's all a blur. I was hanging out with one of the little girls in our group. She and I were having a contest over who could stare at the ankle-high incoming surf for the longest without caving to dizziness. She won hands down. I'd point in a general direction and ask her does that look like "insert name of one of my people" and she'd fill me in on what was going on. I think she thought I was joking and trying to get out of the motion-sickness game, but I wasn't. Nice little girl led me back to the other mommies where I found my glasses, equilibrium and a nice cold adult beverage and excellent snacks. :::sigh::::

I think it was the combination of a mini-vacation, the timing and just getting to talk to people who don't think I'm nuts for complaining about nasty socks stuffed between sofa cushions. The sea air and being able to breathe free and clear for several hours helped as well.

Whatever it was, I'll take it. I feel like me again. Time to get on with edu-ma-cating them there boys!

The lazy days of summer . . .

We really need to start up with school. Two nights ago, I was listening to my IPod (finishing the eh Stephen King book) when I dropped a HEAVY iced-tea glass directly on my middle(aka traffic) toe. For a few hours, my toe was flat. It's puffed up nicely now. In a black/purple way. I have a limp. The limp is making my knee and hip hurt. I've broken toes in the past, but this is the first time I've had to deal with adjacent joint angst.

Mike, my hero, took Tim and Andy and one of Tim's friends to the Y to swim. Tim took his newly minted underwater video camera case. (Ian is camping. Dan was teaching tae kwon do.) This is what he pieced together. I think it's kind of funny. Don't try to hold your breath as you watch, Tim has sped up all of the footage.

Not worth it

I felt it coming on, I had the warning emails from PollensRus.com, I was grumpy and had the runny mascara that made me look like a raccoon. Still, it didn't occur to me to start up the allergy meds again. By Monday morning, I was flat on the couch with the migraine/sinus headache from hell. And, I've been on-and-off asleep for the past three days. This is never good in a house with five male beings. Finally, last night, the allergy meds kicked in and I surveyed my house ...

It's not worth it to just flop on the couch and give in to your misery. Really. It's not. They try. Sort of. Dishes everywhere - some clean, some dirty. Some clean ones stacked with the dirty and more dirty ones stacked in the clean (which means all the clean need to be rewashed). Broom? Hello? While sweeping is kind of like dancing, it's not too much like dancing. Wouldn't you rather seem to be dancing than to be walking through 3" of sand and dog hair? Bathroom? Dental floss. This one is tricky. I want the boys to floss. I want it to be a habit. But, why is it like peeing? Tossing the floss within 6" of the trash can is considered a score?

This morning, I woke to Mike's frantic morning ritual. He is to morning what I am to night. Lucky him, that he never witnesses my nocturnal adventures. Gah - the man runs through the house at 5 am. It makes him happy, so I'm happy. But, gah! I dozed off and woke again around 8. I took the allergy stuff and some aspirin and started making lists! Let's just say I'm not too popular around here. I left the boys with my lists and I went out in search of groceries - I've been putting it off for over two weeks.

The boys managed to clean up the nastier messes. I'm convinced most men do NOT see things the way women see them. But, they made progress. I'm up finishing up and trying to get a handle on the laundry. I'm starting to see that TV in general is not good for me. I can't handle the news. I apparently can't handle HGTV - I told Mike last night in all seriousness that we should move to a loft in Minneapolis because we could get so much more square-footage. Mike, the killjoy, had to bring up the fact that he doesn't have a job in Minneapolis and that our entire family is on the east coast. Will I NEVER get to do the Mary Tyler Moore hat toss?

So, tonight, I'm listening to an audiobook (Insomnia, Stephen King). I don't love it and can't recommend it, but I'm too far in to quit now.

My goal is to reconquer the house and the filthy people that live here by tomorrow afternoon. God help us if we get the swine flu here. There will be a complete meltdown.

So, did you miss me? ;)

Five Years

And he's not yet dead. It was five years ago Sunday that Mike got so sick and we really thought he would die. But he didn't and I finally have enough distance from the whole nightmare to give you some Monty Python in honor of this anniversary!



We are so grateful and lucky that things turned out the way they did. Here's to another five years with nothing even remotely so scary happening!

Another reason to love Mike!

Well, there are many reasons to love Mike. But today's events were an especially good example. I posted my angsty political post last night, folded some laundry (because that is my purpose in life, laundry) and climbed into bed. Mike was set to get up early to take Dan and Ian to a Scout thing - setting up for a fair to help homeless Vets. It was late so I kind of slithered under the covers. It was late enough that if I woke Mike up he would have been up for the day.

I slept. He got up early and shuffled kids around. That there is reason enough to love him! But, when he got home and I opened my eyes - poof! - this is what I found! Snowballs! I was floored. Mike is not a computer-ish kind of guy. He doesn't read my blog (one, he lives it and two, he knows I'll show him the really funny stuff and MAKE him read it). I thought the planets had shifted and Mike read my blog in the morning.

Nope. He heard from one (of our) boys that another boy (interestingly one of ours, too) had handed out Snowballs to all of his friends and *poof* they were gone. So, on his way home from the Scout thing, Mike stopped and picked up a box of Snowballs. How cool is that? The man knows me. He had no clue about my whining of the night before. Eerie, huh?

Here are more pictures of the beloved Snowball. I had to eat two Snowballs to get these pictures. I hope you'll all appreciate my sacrifice (and it's ensuing sugar rush).

First, I made it look all fancy by putting it on a plate. I read old cookbooks, so I know that putting pre-made stuff on decent dishes makes it homey and nice. A garnish of processed American cheese and/or parsley seems to seal the deal in June-Cleaver-land. Chips are just chips until you put them into a beautiful salad bowl with a crystal bowl filled with onion dip. Hummus is good. It's MUCH better if you stick it in a pretty little bowl. You're getting it right? Who doesn't love condiments? They taste better if you use little spoons to apply them to your hotdog or sandwich as opposed to just squirting them out of the bottle. ;)

Hmmm ... or not. All hail the Snowball. And Mike.

What do y'all think?

First, I have to admit that I'm in a bad mood. Mike went to the bread thrift store yesterday. For me, he usually picks up a box of "Snowballs." You know those evil chocolate cupcakes covered with icing and pink coconut? The thing in my lunchbox growing up that let me know that THAT day was a special day. Even at my advanced age, I think one "Snowball" every six weeks or so is not a bad thing. Well, I saw the "Snowballs" come into the house. And, now, I just went searching for a "Snowball" and they are gone. My evil children ate them all. If I were less of a grown-up, I'd be sobbing right now. I really wanted that "Snowball." :::sniff::: Stoopid kids.

Whew - had to get that out in the open.

But, I'm curious what everyone is thinking. I know that the people that read here are a mix. I'm not looking for fights, I'm just curious. I find myself getting more and more 1) freaked out 2)thinking about just disengaging and 3)horrified.

First, we have our own government asking us to report casual conversations, emails and blogs that seem "fishy" in regards to the health care thing. Seriously? In America? I don't agree with a lot of blogs that I read and enjoy; I don't agree with my neighbors on many things. BUT, I would NEVER "report" them. It's crazy.

Second, everyone seems out to demonize each other. It's ugly and unproductive. I'm seeing Congress members hiding behind phone-in town halls and resorting to one-one-one conversations with people. What is that? But, I've seen the You-Tube videos and I wonder why people just can't act like they expect their children to act. Why is everyone so ugly and mean? And, I worry that it's just going to get worse.

Third, when has it become OK for our representatives to brush-off, demean and simply ignore their constituents? Granted the recent interest in what's going on has mobilized a lot of people that normally don't turn out for town-hall kinds of things, but isn't this a good thing? People are paying attention!!! They are reacting. Something is wrong if the elected officials can't face their people, you know, face-to-face. Having to register and be pre-approved in order to talk to your own representative is a signal that something is wrong.

I'm a wimp. I hate seeing people so polarized. It makes me sad. I respect the people that don't take my conservative approach. I am willing to listen to them and I think for the most part they are willing to listen to me. We may never agree, but that's what is great about our country, right? More and more I feel like the country is being divided and to what end? It scares me.

Maybe I'm just a right-wing-nut-job. But I'm sad and kind of scared . . . anyone else? The earliest president in my memory is Nixon. From that time on, I don't ever remember a president telling people that don't agree with him to shut the hell up. Really?

This was really amazing!

Mom Uniform

Cool rainbow, huh?

Well, I grilled Dan today about what exactly constitutes a "mom" uniform. Really, he's a nice kid. He has "known" about denim-jumper-syndrome for years and years. Today he explained it in his best words. I will spare you the torture. Essentially, if you are over 30 and wearing clothes, you are wearing the "mom uniform." I know, I'm confounded too.

Speaking of Dan, I had the strangest phone conversation today. A woman called from the community college. She informed me that the 'counselor' information on Dan's application was blank. I confirmed this saying that he'd been homeschooled and we hadn't hired a counselor.

She asked if I would consider myself his counselor. I thought about it. Jailor/counselor? Is there really a significant difference? I said "SURE!" in a really enthusiastic voice. She informed me that part of his application had been left blank and that part was to be filled out by a counselor. I asked what was missing. She said we need his GPA and his test scores. Well, color me confused! I said you have his transcript and a copy of his test scores in that file, don't you?

"Yes. Yes, I do," said the woman. "But the thing is the paperwork. I need you to come here and fill in the test scores and the GPA and then sign it." There is a reason we homeschool - actually there are many reasons. BUT, top among my reasons is stoopid stuff. I held my breath for ten seconds and asked the woman "This is really just a paperwork issue, isn't it?" She giggled and assured me that it was. Gaaahhhhhh!!!!!!!

So tomorrow, I will go over to the community college and fill in the blanks and sign the paper and Danny will be free to edumacate himself. Honestly, where does the stoopidity end? I signed a four page application at least five times. I included copies of my driver's license, Dan's driver's license, Dan's transcript, Dan's SAT scores, Dan's birth certificate and they STILL need me to come down in person to fill out the counselor's section?

My head exploded about two paragraphs above, but if anyone is still reading .... Gah ... we need more government in our lives? Really?

Soaps!

I have soap. It's really nice soap. No colorants, nothing weird added (unlike the picture - the soaps I'm offering right now range from white to creamy yellow.) Goat's milk soap. I just had the urge to make soap. I am horrified at the prices I'm about to give you, but shipping has gone up a lot, as has the price of ingredients. If you can find handmade soap locally buy it - you'll save the shipping and boost your local economy!

But, if you have cash, want good, long-lasting soap, you're in the right place. Everything is being shipped "naked." No box, a print out of the ingredients and that's it. If you want a box and a nice label, email me and we'll haggle.

Four 3.5 oz bars of soap: Clean Cotton, Lavenilla, Orange/Patchouli (more orange than patchouli - honestly, my husband HATES patchouli and he loves this soap - I just haven't told him the name of it), Rosemary Mint spiced with peppermint leaves. YUM.
$30.00 which includes shipping.
(I have 4 sets of these, first come, first served.)

OR

Two 3.5 oz bars of soap: Berries, Figs and Flowers along with English Lavender. $18 which includes shipping. (I have 6 sets.)

OR

Two 3.5 oz bars of pure Castille. Goat's milk, olive oil and that's it. Soothing and softening. It's a low-lather, long-lasting soap. If you have allergies or other skin issues, this is your ticket. $25.00, includes shipping. (I have 4 sets.)

I wish I could, but I can't honor special requests. This is pretty much a take it or leave it deal. And, sadly, my monstrous supply of soapmaking stuff is wearing down. I don't know how many more batches of soap I can squeak out of what I have. I do know that I'll most likely never again buy in the quantities I used to and I don't know that I can bear the obscene prices if I have to go to buying in small quantities. So, if you're interested, jump on it now.

If you're interested, you can send a Paypal payment to amy@thefoilhat.com. If you have questions, you can email me at all4mine@bellsouth.net.

Centaurs, bread, laundry and college

It started off as a normalish day. For us, anyway. My main goal was to tackle the ever-present mountain of laundry in the garage before everything turned moldy and was ruined. It started off fairly well, but as the day progressed, it got hotter and hotter out there and my enthusiasm for folding clothes hot-out-of-the-dryer waned. I concentrated on indoor tasks and diverted the laundry for the evening.

In the meantime, Dan headed over to Seminole Community College to drop off his paperwork. A HUGE part of me wanted to go with him to make sure he "did everything right." But, the sensible part of me sucked it up and accepted the fact that if he's old enough to attend college classes, he should certainly be able to handle registration. Have I ever mentioned here that I bite my nails? It's gross, I know. But when I'm really nervous and no one's looking and I'm not wearing nail polish, I bite them. Let's just say my fingers look like stumps.

Dan did fine on his own. In fact, when he came home the first thing he said was "I'm so glad you didn't come with me! There was another kid in the 'homeschool' line with his mom and I felt so bad for him. She even had the 'mom' uniform on and the poor kid had his shirt tucked in!" I know, the horrors!!! I will have to dig further to find out what a 'mom' uniform is. He's all set with his classes. He's not allowed to take Calculus until he passes College Algebra. He has to go over and take a test to be allowed to take College Algebra, but after looking at some of the practice tests online (what in the world did we ever do without the internet?) he'll be fine.

I unmolded and cut some soaps, made lunch and settled down to check my email and catch up on the world. The boys ate and headed out to run errands. I so love being able to have them run errands. They also hit the army/navy store for a specialty ammo box that Tim is converting into an underwater video camera case. I had extra time alone and that translated into goofing off online.

Imagine my delight and surprise at finding this picture of Vladamir Putin. Seriously? I don't know a thing about the man, but does he have a wife or a girlfriend? If he does, why are they not informing him that these pictures, despite his overall fitness for his age, make him weird and creepy? If I want weird, creepy and shirtless, I will google Matthew McConaughey. Thank you very much. (Really you should google pictures of him, not dialog. He's gorgeous until he opens his mouth.) But, I could not get the picture out of my head. I still can't.

As I moved onto cleaning out the front-closet-from-hell, I kept thinking about the picture. It seemed vaguely familiar. Aha! The Lord of the Rings movies and of course, Firenze, from Harry Potter. As I emptied the closet and sorted things into save, toss, donate, and set on fire, I thought about it some more. I was sure I was right and I vowed to finish the closet (which I did - WHY do I have so much notebook paper? I think it might be a form of mental illness.) and then come right here and tell you all about my revelations. But it never works like that.

The boys came home, friends arrived, dinner, scouts, hell's kitchen (anyone else watching - what a bunch of crazies! But, 10 points for creative, albeit bleeped, swearing. It's kind of inspiring.), back to laundry and it kind of slipped my mind. While I was cleaning up the kitchen and waiting to flip laundry, I decided to try a new bread recipe. What kind of idiot starts making bread (and yogurt) at 11:45 pm? THIS kind of idiot. The bread took forever to rise. Forever. It's nearly three. The laundry is just about done. The bread, which is still looking kind of dense and brick-like is finally in the oven. Gah. Oh well, if nothing else, it'll become croutons. You can never have enough croutons.

Anyway, I finally remembered about the centaur. Here's a centaur. Imagine the movie centaur in late-middle age. You have Vladamir Putin! Crazy, but true. As a child of the Cold War (anyone else remember having to sit under their desks twice a year while loud sirens blared? How scary and stoopid was that?), I cannot help but wonder if there's something we need to know about the Russian army these days? Have they figured something out? Do they have trolls and giants, too? Is Mr. Putin not just getting these pictures done as a Christmas gift for his significant other? Is he trying to tell us something? I'm guessing no, but sometimes a person wonders.

Tomorrow, I'm going to make a concerted effort to focus on real things. No promises, but I'm going to try.

You'd think it would be easier ...

Twins, you know. They both want to repaint their bedroom. Figures, I get twins that have NOTHING in common. They don't look alike. They share no common interests. They don't have a freaky twin language. In fact, they mostly act just like brothers. BUT ... they always want to know what the other is doing. They stay up late every night talking about all the stuff they don't have in common. They are attached in some strange way. And still, they won't dress alike . . . don't you think twin 15-year-olds dressed in matching clothes would be adorable? It's OK they didn't think it would be either.

And, that being what it is ... I'm trying to brace myself for a red and silver bedroom or something equally as horrendous. I'm begging you all to pray to the harmonious color gods for a sane resolution.

Can't you smell the culture?

Yep. I went to the opera today. Okay, it was the opera at-the-movies, but it was the opera! I never like things to be too easy, so I didn't fully read my mom's email inviting me to the opera. I just assumed we would be going to the local movie theater where we saw our last movie-opera. Oops.

I stood in the HOT sun searching for my mom for nearly 15 minutes until it occurred to me to check the board in the shady area where they sell tickets. No opera. One, I felt stoopid for being in the wrong place. Two, I was mad that I would have to park Mike's big dumb truck more than once. Three, I couldn't believe that today, of all days, I had no cell phone. Kids were scattered to the wind and one of them had my cell phone.

I managed to get the stoopid truck out of the parking space (a HUGELY desirable parking space I might add) and I drove to the right theater. Luckily, we'd planned to meet early AND my mom's friend decided to join us. She managed to get us a good spot to sit and eat while my mom stood outside waiting for her "challenged" daughter. (Waving Hi & Thanks! at Regina!!!) The theater where the opera was playing was the "fancy" theater in town. Normally, they show foreign films, documentaries and good independent movies. I'm married to Mike - who is a wonderful man but he's not really into subtitles AND if you sit him down in a theater that offers couches, he falls dead asleep and then complains that he spent money on a ticket. We don't usually go there. Netflix is a good thing.

Today, they had a sold out opera. Way fun. We sat in cushy chairs, ate the most amazing Margarita pizza ever and watched Otello, from Salzburg's 2008 festival. I would so love to go on an opera tour of Europe. Wouldn't that be amazing?

I really, really encourage you to check your local theaters to see if a cool opera is coming your way. It's so fun. So over the top - like an old soap opera, but with beautiful music, outrageous costumes and amazing set designs.

Thanks Bing and Regina for a great afternoon. We need to plan another one! Soon. I came home to utter, ugly, man-chaos ... sigh. I love them, but . . .

Weekend!

Yesterday, Andy was REALLY bored. You know. He was bored in the obnoxious way that 9 year-olds get bored. I was trying to get dinner together and not really interested in the boredom thing. I suggested he make brownies. Alone. He's been helping Mike and me cook since he was born, I figured he could handle brownies. And, being the fourth child, I did not even check on him once (I did load the finished pan into the oven). Well, Andy took off to play with his friends (newly arrived home as he was mixing and measuring). Those brownies took nearly 90 minutes to cook. (Normal time is about 35 minutes, fyi) And, they just didn't look right. But, I ate one. Yes, indeed, it's possible to make a greasy brownie. As in, greasy. Brownies should never taste burnt AND greasy. Actually they shouldn't ever taste burnt. And, they should never ever taste greasy. Ever. Trust me. I ate one of these brownies because I love my son and he was watching me eat it. I told him he could not have one until after dinner (you know, the rules are different for mom).

Andy and I went our own way for the early part of the evening. When we came home, I was stunned to see Mike and the older boys munching brownies. Don't tell that I told, but they scrapped (and hid) Brownies 1.0 and remade them and let Andy think they were his. Andy is SO proud. Now, I'm stuck. I'm thinking we'll start school off with measuring 101 and go from there. I'm so proud of Mike and the other boys, though. They act tough, but they're mushy and nice. It's a secret (reading this constitutes a pinkie swear, folks).